An ode to tok..

Its been 3 days since the death of my paternal grandmother, the only grandparent i have left. she died at 6.10 pm on sunday at damansara specialist hospital after battling colon cancer for 2 years. i am devastated as my mother n i was at d hospital from 2am till d following evening, but at 430 we decided 2 leave and go home to freshen up n rest before going back to d hospital. alas, as muslims would say it. takde rezeki. we were not there when she she passed. we arrived 10 mins too late. just in time to hear d doctor pronounce her gone.

Arrangements were immediately made to bring her back to terengganu whr she wants to be laid to rest. right next to my late grandfather who passed away 18 years ago. after mandi n solat jenazah, we left at midnite for our last trip back to kampung with tok..

We were sleep deprived, having not have slept a wink d nite before. my dad fell asleep behind d wheel countless times resorting to me 'tepuk-ing' and 'tumbuk-ing' his back to keep him awake, even while doing thet he dozed off a couple o times. takut sgt.

We arrived at 5am. we had another prayer for her and she was buried at 10am. we held a tahlil for her that nite. the following day, most o d family returned to kl.

I sat in the kitchen reminiscing the memories i had as a child. running in and out o this kitchen as the adults were busy cooking. watching tok manning d 'dapur arang' dat she takes out on raya. and wen i was older, getting scolded for eating openly wen i was not fasting during dat time o month. i can picture it so clearly, her rounded figure sitting on d chair at d kitchen door, stooped over d kuali, 'kacau-ing' d dish she's preparing ever so lightly for fear it would 'pecah' or 'hancur'. giving instructions and orders to all those arnd her.

I remember once she was staying with us and d mamak roti came by, we ran to tok asking for money to buy sweets n snacks n she gave us a 50 ringgit note to buy snacks at d mamak dat would probly cost 1 ringgit 4 us both! we tot we were in rotiman heaven!

And on raya morning, we cucu's would stand in line in front o her awaiting our turn to receive our raya packets. we older cucu's would naturaly recieve more den d younger ones. pastu action la sket.

but i am glad we went to c her d nite b4 she passed. it was d last time i saw her lucid tho barely so. she was restless n kept asking to be proped up on her bed (she was bedridden by dis time), only to ask to lie down d next minute. this went on a couple o times n after midnite, she was back in d hospital.

raya will not b same without our matriarch from now on. n there wont b anymore trips to visit her on weekends. she will be sorely missed. here is a pic of her in her younger days with my youngest aunty

In loving memory of tok,
1st February 1929- 25th January 2009