post lunch

Papa im-ed me yesterday, yes he instant msged me. my dad who knows as much about computers as i do about math. He's hooked on ym. Everynow and then i get text and emails that goes- u whr? wan chat now. It takes him a while to reply tho, i imagine him tip tapping the keypad, looking for alphabets and laughing at himself when he realises it was under his nose all the while.

he told me to stop blogging abt the wedding. bummer. i kindda wanted to keep it as a journal for me to read back later on... bt papa's kno best. so no more wedding drama's!

im feeling dpressed of late.. with jj not around... n having to miss the valiram luxury shoe sale this weekend.. sigh... not that i trust myself enough to go JUST for a looksee.. for all you other lucky people out there.. please go and show me pictures so i can drool ok

Spooky nites...

For the past 2 years i have been waking up in the middle of the night. This happens everynight no matter where i am, be it at home, a hotel or my grandma's place back in my hometown. And i always always always wake up at 2.58, 2.59 or 3am. i googled this and got some rather disturbing answers. While some sites mentioned something about sleep patterns and internal clocks, a lot of them say that 3am is the time when paranormal activity is at its peak. Reading about the witching hour and the hour of the walking dead isnt really making me feel all that better. But i do get creeped out when i wake up, even if the tv is on, which is most nites (fine everynite). I get the feeling that im being watched.

Last night i had a nightmare, that i was sleeping and woke up at 2.59am and felt like there was a presence in my bedroom. I ran out and saw my dad standing outside my door. he looked pale and told me that he saw a pontianak (banshee) flying into my room. At that exact moment i woke up, and it was 2.59am- creepy much!??!?

On a totally unrelated note, the wedding frenzy is starting to get to me. Were in d midst of looking for a ring for him and omg stress pls. Were looking for a broad ring coz he has giant fingers, in a material that abides by islamic laws, and my moms laws, and is within my budget. u kno how hard that is??? It doesnt help that he's so far away, but i guess we have to make do. 4 months one week and one day to go. Lets pray we all come thru in one piece. Frazzled and fried im sure... but intact :)

Baby baby mama

Last friday, about 20 ibm-ers made our way to a home for troubled teen girls in cheras, an area i have little familiarity of. we have had looooooooong meetings prior to coming here to prep ourselves for what we would encounter. despite those extended 3 hour long meetings, i was rendered speechless when faced with the girls.

Taman Seri Puteri Cheras is a place that houses girls from the ages of 12-18. These 'misled' girls live a protected life here. they are not allowed to go out, or leave without parental consent or until they reach a certain age. Most of them are also pregnant. I am not accustomed to seeing kids as young as 13 years old hobbling around with huge tummy's. When i was 13, i was still playing hopscotch and making faces when asked to take out the garbage.

We were ushered into a meeting room upon arrival and were told to set up while they rounded the girls. After 15 minutes, the girls walked in, all 35 of them, while we were setting up our power point slides and que cards and such. All of us either stared at the floor or at each other, each one trying not to look, much less stare at these girls who are obviously very very young, but pregnant nonetheless.

We were very careful in our speech, afraid of saying something that might offend the girls, but they proved to be rather, outspoken. After the initial stage of getting to know one another, they and us were finally at ease and were able to have private conversations. Over morning tea, i found out that 17 year old Salwa are carrying a pair of boy girls twins and that her mother told her not to come home after she delivers for fear of her safety as her father is an abusive man. And 15 year old Wai Leng is due in three days time.

The girls we dressed differently according to the state they were in. Pregnant girls wore a blue robe with white tudung, while non-pregnant girls wore flower print baju kurung. We later found out that the non-pregnant girls have either just given birth, or are under remand by the police.

While we were there, we saw a young girl being taken away by her parents. Her feet were clad in thick socks and she was dressed in layers to keep herself warm- a sign she was in confinement. We later found out that she had given birth 3 days earlier and she had given her baby up for adoption. A couple had come to take her baby home, and she would be going back to her parents. She is 13 years old. When she was 12, she was raped. Her parents sent her to Seri Puteri when she got pregnant. She cried as she left and i wondered if it was from sadness of having to see your child leave with someone else, never to be seen again, or bitterness from the trauma she has been through. It was gut wrenching.

We were told not to ask these girls any personal questions that might offend them, but in the end, it was them who were openly telling us their life stories. While some were girls who mixed with the wrong crowd and got into trouble, there were some who were raped by people they knew, relatives, friends, boyfriends.

One thing that stuck in my mind was when we played an adventure game. You have to choose the decision you want to make based on the choices given according to the situation portrayed. It went something like this-

Shiela is 17. She comes from a poor family. Her father is in jail. She has never visited him as she is ashamed of him. Her mother has to work hard to support her and her siblings. One day, an old women comes up to her and hands her a magic watch. She told shiela that this watch can take her anywhere she wants to in a matter of seconds when she says out loud where she wants to go while wearing it. Shiela wears the watch and says-

A- Take me to a nightclub

B- Take me to my fathers jail cell

C- Take me to Phuket, Thailand

We were all caught off guard when ALL the girls shouted A! like it was the most natural thing in the world. someone gives u a magic watch?? lets go to the nightclub!! this coming from teens who are supposed to be crying over a huge zit or like me- not being allowed to go on school trips.

I really hope and pray these girls find their way in the world. I truly wish for them to learn from this mistake and be better people. It was a real eye opener for all of us. i pray these girls will make it out in the real world free from judgements and pain.