and im back in the game

Being a newsreader has always always always been my dream. when the incident happened, i was not allowed to appear on air for fear of 'my safety'. in truth, i had become an overnite liability to the company. I fully understand their predicament being a media company. But however way i look at it, the consequence was the same, my lifelong dream, was gone.


since that day, i had tried and tried again to get back into this line i love so much but with every mention of my name and the association to you know what, doors would shut in my face, and resume's would get lost. I would see their excitement when i am auditioning, and then when it was questions time i would see the arch of their eyebrows and the knowing nodd, and know my fate was not to be. I even saw them put a note in red on one occasion 'labeling' me to the case.


I felt i was unjustly treated. I just wanted to be judged fairly based on my talent and nothing else. I have been to auditions held by every tv station in Malaysia save for one, and i get the same looks of pity and shrugs each and every time.


A couple of months back i went to the career fair at Midvalley. My dear friend Mariane had told me there was an audition going on. it was a friday evening. I wanted to rush there in my shabby state to audition- bear in mind the crazy friday traffic getting from cyberto midvalley would probably take me two days but i didnt care! Till i spoke to jj and mama about it and they told me to be patient, and to go tomorrow.


i was glad i listened to them. We went there bright and early the next day and i was so eager to go i could have bitten anyone who stopped me. I had only one thing in mind, and that was to audition to be a newsreader. I was oblivious to the other booths that only seemed to slow me down. i was jumping out of my skin! by this time i was practically hyperventilating! i couldnt feel my toes! jj had to calm me down and ask me take deep breaths. When we got there, we were told auditions only begin at 2pm. it was 10am. are u kidding me??


I am not a fan of midvalley. Crowds are just not my thing. So we left, and returned at 2.30, bless him for braving the crazy traffic n i kno how much he hates malls at weekends, what more midvalley with career fair going on! it was crazy! but he kept silent coz he saw how much i wanted this. Plus id probably have bitten his ear off if he didnt take me.


after (again) braving the sea of pesky booths and 1000 flyers later, i got to the audition (they were still setting up the booth) and i was the first. very impatient person i am i know! and i gave my best! i auditioned in front of so many people and it was nerve wrecking! but i had decided this was going to be my last audition, and that if i didnt get it i was going to throw in the towel and think that maybe its just not meant to be.


I did my best and left. and waited for that call. 2 weeks passed and i had heard nothing.. i sent an email to some people and bluntly told them that i am no longer associated to the case, and that i would like to be judged solely on my talent and nothing else.


a week later i got the call :) and last nite, i relived my dream


alhamdullillah my prayers were answered.


my closest family and friends were glued to the tv come midnight. my parents slept early and set their clock to go off close to midnite. and my nenek in sarawak stayed up wayyy past her bedtime. my friends gave words of encouragement. Im glad and thankful to once again be in that seat, albeit at another station.


Alhamdulillah.


Thank you for the well wishes.


I love you guys.

~ on a lighter note. I AM NOT THAT FAT!!! u put on 30%  of extra weight on tv. Im actually closer to Kate Moss' size. btul xtipu... ok maybe siket..